A Natural History of Love (17-42)

Summary

Now we are getting into Greece. Under the title of the section, there's a subtitle saying "The world of the Citizen Kingdom". We start talking about Athens. It stated that their constitution was like ours, they had a democracy. The life of the men is so much different than that of the women in Athens. The wife never dined with her husband, and if they had a male visitor, the women was to get out of there. And those women who were apart of the men gatherings, they were looked on as prostitutes. Teenage girls were to marry young, but to an older men. Teenage boys were off limits, and sometimes the men were well into their 30's. They couple married then they fell in love. Love didn't have to do anything with getting married, it was a lot about being able to produce children. The women in Greece were very cherished, but they had a lower part in the community then that of the man. The book talks about a women named Artemis, she was beautiful, "excluded sensuality energy" and many women adored and followed her, even till their wedding day. Then we get into men loving men in Greece. The relationships happened between older men and younger boys. Aristophanes described a boy in "Clouds" to be modest and honest and beautiful. Plato has Socrates and his friends discuss these relationships at the dinner table. The family was never a good one, women had to live in the shadows and hide their feelings, while men can live openly. After Greece we start talking about Rome. And under this title, there's the subtitle "The Nightmare of Girls". Rome was a place that when a girl was born they often abandoned them and left. Most mother's would have to literally try to find away that they can save their babies. Then it tells us a story about Dido and Aeneas. Aeneas was a sailor who got lost at sea and had to go to land where he finds the queen Dido. She has lost her husband but it seemed that Aeneas had come at the right time, because they fall in love. One day they went hunting, and there, they made love. To Aeneas this really didn't mean anything, but to Dido and the Romans, this meant marriage. After a time of bliss, the Gods come to tell Aeneas that he has to go back and find his lost land Italy. Aeneas, heartbroken, doesn't tell Dido and leaves without telling her anything. When the news finally gets to Dido, she is so heartbroken that she decides to kill herself with Aeneas' sword hoping that he will see her funeral from sea. Later in the story, Aeneas gets a chance to the underworld and there he sees the ghost of Dido. He begs for forgiveness but she doesn't forgive and runs away, still hating him for what he did. In Rome the father chooses who the girl marries at age 14, that's why she didn't need much education and Romans never really cared much for education. It was law, though, that a women must agree with the marriage, but she couldn't reject her father's wishes, so she had to marry. When you had children it would mean that you are really married. At the wedding, gifts were given and the bride wears the ring, on the same finger as today. There's a story behind why that specific finger was chosen. It was said that there was a very delicate nerve that starts from the tip of that finger and travels to the heart. It was only fitting that they put the honorable ring on that finger, that has that "loose connection with the heart". It was said that when ever a man and a woman touched hands, they touched hearts. The wedding night was almost like the women got raped because even though she didn't want to do, they had relations. Once again, the marriage was to produce children and nothing else. The Romans were very sexual people, but they would only have sex at night, but there people who did it, secretly, at daytime. Then we start talking about Ovid and his love poems. Ovid had many lovers, which was considered wrong. Romans, at that time, had a lot of rules. Like if you were divorced you have to get remarried in 6 months, and if your spouse died, you had to get remarried in two years. It was no such time to publish a book on infidelity, but Ovid choose this time. It got him into a lot of trouble. Augustus, the ruler at that time, had every right to banish him. People saw him as somebody who only cared for sexual conquest. Just like Shakespeare, Ovid promises his girlfriends that they would be immortal through his love poems. Although at that time Augustus banned "The Art of Love", it has still made it through the years as a "brilliantly insightful meditation on love, vanity, and temptation".

Quote

"The man was said to receive 'the hands of his bride, and the ring symbolized that with her hand sh gave her innermost self. Every time they touched hands, they touched hearts" (Ackerman 36).

Reaction

These pages of the book made alot of sense. My knowledge grew on the Romans, I had knew that they were all about sexuality. The quote above makes you think alot about the union of a husband and wife. Even though in those times that marriage wasn't about love, the words written above describes how strong a love between two people can be.